The Novel
by Khorale
Summary: One-shot. Seras found a novel curiously-named Dracula. Alucard is not amused.


**Alright, I've ran out of things to say in those author notes. But for some reason it makes the story easier to write if I put a note in the beginning about some things or the other.  
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**So... Enjoy!  
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**One-shot:** The Novel

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"Master!"

"Hmm?" Alucard turned back to see Seras running towards him, a thick book in her hand.

"You've got to see this," she panted.

The book was small, and the pages were yellow and faded. It was handwritten, by somebody named "Bram Stoker". Alucard raised an eyebrow, the name sounded familiar somehow, but he just couldn't place it.

Then he noticed the title of the cover:

DRACULA.

"What...the hell?"

Somebody wrote a book. A book about him. This Bram Stoker had somehow recorded his past adventures against _them._ It brought up bad memories of Abraham Van Hellsing and the bitter defeat he suffered. _Who had the nerves to publish this?_

"Um... Master?" Seras noticed Alucard's stillness (Though Vampires are naturally still), and reached out a worried hand.

"What is it, Police girl?"

"I was reading it and this Dracula... he reminds me of you..."

Idiot Police Girl, didn't she know that he _is_ Dracula? Alucard took a deep breath and took the book away, "Yes, he's a vampire," he deadpanned.

"No! I mean, he, well..." Seras looked down, "He sounds very powerful. Had you ever met him, Master?"

"Of course I have."

"Really?" Sera's eyes sparkled, "Can I- oh wait he's dead... Abraham killed him."

Alucard's eyebrow twitched, "No. He did _not_ kill-" he gave up on completing that sentence. Obviously the _evidence_ that he was Dracula would never reach this daft girl. To convince her was a waste of time.

Then he noticed something, "Wait, Police Girl. Do you -by chance- have a crush on Dracula?" he asked incredulously.

Seras shyly nodded.

Twitch twitch.

"What's wrong, Master?'

"Nothing... Just- just go."

"...Okay?"

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"I don't believe this," Alucard growled, "This entire situation is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. Ridiculous. How the hell did she have a crush on _Dracula_ of all people?!"

"Calm, Alucard. You're overreacting," Interga spoke up, wisps of smoke drifted from her cigar. "Just tell her you're Dracula."

"She'll never believe me. I will look like a fool trying to get her attention!"

"Go. I order you to tell her."

"No."

Interga's eyes narrowed, "Are you disobeying me, servant?"

"No," he shook his head, "I'll go." He disappeared in a puddle of shadows.

Alucard was very tempted to shoot something. In fact, his two guns materialized in his hands. He fired them in the target ranges, hearing the satisfied sound of bullets hitting something solid. He continued shooting, wasting bullets, and relieving stress.

"Master!" he heard a distant call. He slowed in his shooting but didn't stop.

"What are you doing?" Seras asked, staring flabbergasted at the hole-ridden dummies that barely stood, 80% dust.

"Relieving stress," he replied shortly.

"What for?"

"My Master ordered something utterly ridiculous."

"What is it?" The fledgeling asked curiously.

"..."

_Go. I order you to tell her._

"..." he sighed.

"?"

"Do you know my human name, Police girl?" Alucard suddenly asked.

"No, you never told me anything about your past..." Seras looked eager to unravel the mystery that is her Master.

"My name was Vlad Dracula."

"..."

He watched her expression carefully, noting the widening eyes and dropped jaw. Her clear red eyes reflected shock, excitement, and a dawning realization.

"Master! You-"

"Yes."

"You have the same name as the character in that book!" Seras exclaimed.

Silence.

Alucard wanted to grab his apprentice's head and pound some sense into her, but one warning glance from Interga from the windows stopped him. His hands reached down and he resisted the urge to facepalm, no matter how absurd and oblivious Seras is acting.

"Is there something wrong, Master?"

"No..." Alucard hissed slowly, "You'll be rooming with Pip tonight."

Her resounding wail was heard all over the mansion.

"MAAAAAAAAASTER! WHAT DID I DO?!"

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**Yeah... Alucard wanted some more hero-worshipness, but oblivious-Seras wouldn't get what he's trying to tell her.**


End file.
